It’s finally over. The dread I’ve been feeling for the past four weeks came to a head earlier tonight. I’m familiar with this feeling, actually. Growing up in Boston being a Red Sox fan I’ve had it often. The last time I had it was back in October 2003, I almost forgot what it felt like. Back then Red Sox fans expected everything to go wrong. They HOPED things would go right but they fully resigned to themselves that all of their hopes and dreams would ultimately to turn to shit. And in the most heartwrenching way possible. It all fit into our miserable existence as frustrated, fistfighting Bostonians. We were cursed, right?

The Red Sox’ historic collapse was compounded by several factors, some that didn’t even involve baseball. It all involved the culture surrounding being a Bostonian. Outsiders thought we were a miserable lot of insular knowitalls with an inferiority complex in regards to New York and a woe is me mentality. In 2004? That all ended. When the Red Sox won it sent a ripple throughout Boston in ALL aspects of our culture. Let that old mentally die. Boston is full of winners now. We came back from an agonizing failure and staged a comeback for the ages and won the ultimate prize. No more loveable losers. No more reason to have a inferiority complex in regards to New York. WE’RE ON TOP NOW. Let’s never go back to that old mindset…

During this entire month, I tried to fight that same feeling I remember having much of my life. This is all going to go badly. The Red Sox are going to choke. They’re going to lose this lead. And in the worst possible way imaginable. It’s the Red Sox, after all! It’s what they do. It’s what Boston does! I tried to block this feeling out with all my might. I was unsuccessful, I KNEW what was coming. I didn’t want to go back to the old days when this was seemingly inevitable every season. Boston would ultimately wane and New York would advance. After all, what is Boston in comparison to New York?

The Bostonian culture is one that stresses that even when you’re successful you better not try to think you’re “better” than your fellow Bostonians. Familiar Bostonian phrases are “You think you’re better than me?” or “Don’t get fancy!”. When Ben Affleck, Matt Damon or the Wahlberg’s come back home you know what happens immediately afterwards? Their family and friends make fun of them or make them do something menial to remind them that their just like everyone else.

Some say it’s to keep them grounded. I know better, it’s to make sure they remember that they’re Bostonians and to be a Bostonian means failure may ultimately be right around the corner so don’t get too full of yourself. Look at what happened to Troy Duffy. A Bostonian got a film deal with Miramax AND a record deal. The studio bought him the bar he worked at to sweeten the deal. What happened next? He lost it all. in spectacular fashion. It’s all caught on film in a documentary called “Overnight”. Watch it. He was one of my idols at one point. I rooted for him to succeed but ultimately? He was a Bostonian so you kinda knew he’d fuck it all up…

Being a Red Sox fan used to fit in perfectly with being a Bostonian. You’d succeed to a certain level but the ultimate prize would always elude us. It was our lot as Bostonians. When the Red Sox won in 2004 and again in 2007? That whole shit was dead. Boston was now the home of champions. Then the Celtics won in 2008. All of a sudden New York’s hatred of Boston took another dimension because we were kicking their asses and we had a completely different identity now. I dug that. Boston NEEDS to win. For all the kids that grew up with that old “ain’t shit” mentality that are adults now. Moreso for our kids that won’t grow up with that same feeling of Bostonian inferiority we grew up with.

Tonight, as bad thing after bad thing happened I began to realize why this month has been so hard on me. Not because of the Red Sox collapse, more because I fear this is the beginning of us sinking back into that cancerous mindset again. I refuse to go back there. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that kids and young adults from my city know that being from Boston is a source of supreme pride. We’re not a joke nor do we take a second banana position to ANY city. New York. Philadelphia. Chicago. Los Angeles. NO ONE. If you’re from Boston, shout that shit from the rooftops. Succeed in the face of every imaginable adversity. It’s what we Bostonians do after all. WE WIN.

The Red Sox collapsed. In epic fashion. One of the worst collapses in MLB history. Then again, didn’t the Red Sox fail horribly the year before they won? Weren’t the Patriots terrible right before they began dominating the NFL? Didn’t the Celtics have a season where they lost 18 straight games before they became champions in 2008? Didn’t the Celtics in 2010 struggle for most of the second half of the season until they gelled in the playoffs and pushed the Lakers to the brink and were only 6 minutes away from banner number 18 without their starting center?

Didn’t the Bruins choke in the playoffs in heartbreaking fashion in both 2009 AND 2010 before ultimately putting it all together and winning the chip in 2011? I believe they all did. Success never comes before failure. Every failure gives you an opportunity to learn from it, apply what you learned and build toward the next reach for the brass ring.

In conclusion, I’m really pissed off and disappointed right now but I’m a Bostonian so I’ll be just fine. I’m going to turn this negative energy surging through me at this moment into something positive to glorify the name of my city as others will slander it. Things go in cycles. The last shall be first. Keep that in mind, people. Also…don’t ever fuck with Boston. EVER. IN. LIFE.

One.