Let me rehash my day for you all. First off, it’s a holiday so there’s no mail. Secondly, I’m watching my nephew for the extended weekend. Third, benefits don’t kick in until the 11th and it’s the 10th so I can’t shop for food until tomorrow and I’m down to three slices of bread in the loaf so only the nephew gets the luxury of having toast with his breakfast today. I’m a 36 year old Hip Hop blogger. One of the most respected in the world. Just one thing, critical acclaim and respect doesn’t pay the fuckin’ bills.

Last week, I agreed to go to a show tonight to write a review of the show. Since then I paid rent, got a birthday gift for my niece and sold an iPhone 4 to buy an iPhone 4S just for me to discover I can’t upgrade MY phone until late November. Presently I use an LG Shine II which makes people think that either I’m being extremely frugal or I’m a terror suspect. Even moreso when I’m at an event and I’m the only “writer” or blogger there without a business card. Then again, my wallet is just for show. Plus it looks like it belonged to a dead hobo from the 40’s who carried a stick with a kerchief tied to it.

I leave my house and walk to the Green Line MBTA station that will take me to the show I’m supposed to go to and write a review of it. I don’t bring money because I have none. Sure I have a wallet. It has my ID’s in it. Also my CharlieCard and the $10 MetroCard I bought when I visited New York back in May. It also holds my PayPal card which is empty and when I get money in my PayPal account I need to transfer it before I can use it on the card. Don’t ask why. In any event, I arrive at the venue to discover that I’m not on the list. Great.

I call my contact and as would be expected the act I’m going to see is hella busy so they can’t be bothered to add someone they don’t know to the list. Completely understandable. My contact says something I can’t hear over the frolicking youth that reek of marijuana. I ask her what she said and she says “Just buy a ticket and I’ll compensate you via PayPal”. That’s actually a fair thing to do. Problem is I’m completely broke. I’m 36 and broke. One of the kids reeking of the pungent aroma of weed in the line asks me if I’m Dart Adams. Yep. Thar he. I’m a glorified bum that still depends on other people to get into shows I should be able to afford by now.

I had two options left, hit up my boy who was opening and try to get him to get me in. Problem was he was actually spinning at the time this was all happening. Second option, call my other boy who was there and ask him to buy my ticket for me then when I got compensated I’d pay him back. Yeah. No. I instead decided to walk all the way back home from Allston to the South End rather than spend any more money on my CharlieCard. Me and my integrity went for a long leisurely stroll. On the plus side? It’s a gorgeous night to stroll along the Boston University campus.

In conclusion, I had a bad night. No one was at fault, shit happens. If anyone is at fault here it’s me. Sure I have a book I still need to finish editing so it drops before world ends. Sure I’m still in the process of waiting for a few unfinished projects to actually come to fruition but there’s no excuse why after more than 5 years of busting my ass writing like a madman and the year plus I’ve been doing online radio I’m still essentially nowhere. Don’t think that’ll make me stop doing what I’m doing though. This will just make me work harder so I’m still not in this same exact situation next year. Most bloggers wouldn’t dare write any shit like this because it’s a bit too real. Fuck ‘em. They ain’t me.

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